BE Where You Are!

March 30, 2017 Carol Watson

BE Where You Are!

Are we so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by?

Do you find that when you are home, your thoughts are still consumed with things going on at work? And when you are at work, you find yourself worrying about any problems/challenges you have going on at home?

If so, then you are most likely going through your day without really LISTENING to what others are saying or being present in the moment? Oh, you may be hearing what is being said, or you may be present in a meeting or on a phone conversation but you are missing out IN THE MOMENT because of your preoccupation with past experiences or future possibilities. What do you miss every day because you aren’t truly present?

One of my best friends used to say to me, “be with the people you are with.” By that, she meant, put the phone down, put the book down, clear your mind of distractions and listen to me.” The unspoken words were, “I don’t feel valued or important because you aren’t really here with me…you are somewhere else.”

I know you think you are super-human but it is not humanly possible to multitask well. What we are capable of is handling several serial tasks in rapid succession, or mixing automatic tasks with those that aren’t as “automatic.” That's one of the reasons that the NTSB reports that texting while driving is the functional equivalent of driving with a blood-alcohol level three times the legal limit. You just can't effectively attend to two things at once - even the superficially automatic ones.

So, how do you stay present? The first thing to recognize is that even though you think you are super-human, you can only do one thing at a time! So, let’s do that thing wholeheartedly. If most of our time is spent in the past or the future, rather than the present moment, we end up passing through that moment on the way to somewhere else. In doing so, we miss the moment we are in. That's how life ends up passing us by - we do it to ourselves.

Since the past is something that can't be changed and potentially a destructive place for you to stay. And anticipating the future is usually futile; we can’t really control what may/may not happen. I invite you to stay present; BE where you are. Right here; right now. Here are a few simple guidelines to help you to direct your experience to Being in the moment.

FIRST, take a deep breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth. I like to BE present by paying attention to my breathing. As I breath in, I think, “in with the good” and as I exhale, I think “out with the bad.” These are deep cleansing breaths helping us to focus on the present and literally shift brain physiology.

Next, I invite you to begin to practice “The ART of Being Present.”

There are many ways to bring mindfulness into your daily life, even when you don’t have a chance to sit down in a quiet place. This is affectionately referred to as the “Art of being present.” Follow these 3 tips to your practice of BEing where you are and I just betcha you will experience more peace and fulfillment:

Activities. Bring mindfulness into the activities you do and love, like gardening, running, biking, swimming…practice focusing on the actual activity, like the beauty around you while gardening.

Routines. Chose one of your daily routines and bring mindfulness to it: folding clothes, washing dishes, vacuuming, driving to work, eating lunch. For example, while washing dishes, feel how good the warm water feels on your hands and appreciate the people who just ate off of those dishes.

Triggers. We all have things that set us off: annoying emails, pesky colleagues, irritating drivers on the road. Choose one and decide to replace your angry reaction with being present and grateful in the moment (remember, deep cleansing breaths). [This acronym is from James Gimian, publisher of Mindful]

Let the rest go!

BE Where You Are; right there, right then, right now!

For supportive coaching thru this process and more contact Dr. Carol at www.tcdrcarol.com