I know how to eat right; why don’t I? I know how to prioritize my day; but why don’t I? I know how to be patient and kind with my spouse/children; so why don’t I? I know how to live on a budget; so why don’t I? Can anyone relate? We know HOW to do certain things that we want to do; yet we are NOT DOING them! Why is that?? Oh. My. Word.
So, if life was all about "how to's" we would all be skinny, rich, and happy, right? But there's so much more to it than in "the doing." The only way we will ever understand ourselves regardless of the issue--diet, relationships, finances, or business--is to become aware of what we are thinking so we can change our results. The acronym I use for this is: T-E-A (Thoughts-Emotions-Actions). If we change our Thoughts, then we feel/believe differently (Emotions) and the result will produce improved outcomes (Action)! So I invite you to focus on what your thoughts are vs. “how to do”______whatever it is you want to accomplish!
Research reveals that we think 40,000+ thoughts per day and 85% of them are the same thoughts over and over (we aren’t very creative, lol). Thoughts like "I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not deserving of the love of others." We so desperately want to change though, don’t we? So, we try to alter our behavior (or actions) and when that doesn't work? Well, we get frustrated and stuck. This can become a vicious cycle until we become aware of our thoughts and untwist the "lies" we have been telling ourselves for years. See one of my previous blogs on more detail about “how” to change those thoughts and untwist the lies here.
Experts estimate that our core beliefs are in place by the time we are about 7 years old. The two primary core beliefs are: (1) I'm not worthy--I'm not good enough so why bother, or (2) I'm not capable--I've failed in the past so why bother with trying. Both are self-defeating. Since our unconscious mind is what drives our thoughts, one way to break the pattern of lies is to go to our prayer closet and "be still and know that He is God." (Ps 46:10). It is in that silence that Truth is revealed; we can detach from the lie and the Truth will set us free (John 8:32)! It takes practice and intention to quiet our minds and observe our thoughts; I challenge anyone to give it a try. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you experience! And if you want the support of a 21-day “change your thoughts” program, read my previous blog here.
The more I view life from the Christian perspective (who I am and who God created me to be), the more I learn to accept and love myself as the unique and beautiful woman God created in His own image. The end result then is that as I love and accept myself; the opinions of others hold less weight. I like to frame it this way, "What you think of me is none of my business!" We are perfect and complete in Christ Jesus folks (Col 2:10) and His grace is sufficient for us ALL (2 Cor 12:9)!
Transforming our thoughts together,
Your Transformational Coach, Dr. Carol